Knitworthy

 I've been knitting a lot of hats this year.  

I had very few resolutions for the year, knitting or otherwise, and this is one of the few that I've kept.  I'm only a little bit behind on my schedule for knitting certain family members birthday hats, but I don't think I'm too far off track and I've made a lot of hats to donate.  I've made a little formula of sorts that works well for my purposes: using a worsted weight acrylic yarn held with a lighter weight wool or wool blend yarn, I cast on 56 stitches, knit and purl until the hat is 5ish inches long or so, and then I begin a fairly rapid series of decreases.  

The ribbing helps the hat stretch a lot for larger heads, or fit snugly on a smaller one.  Using two yarns also helps me use up remnants when I don't have enough for a full hat.  I've tried to use soft yarns, especially with some of the acrylic yarns that felt a bit stiff or scratchy to work with.  So far, I've donated hats to my church.  They've spent 2 months collecting goods and funds that will be donating to an organization that does a lot of homeless outreach in downtown Little Rock.  I've also brought some to my workplace and put them in bags for the neighbors who come by requesting warm clothing. While I've worked on these projects throughout the year, I've thought about the time it takes me to plan a hat and knit it up; how many people it may take to transport it, sort it, store it, and distribute it before it ever makes it into the hands of someone who needs it.  And then it will likely make its way to a trash can shortly after that.  

It's the sad reality of a horrifying system filled with waste and destruction.  No one wants to wear a hat that's rain-soaked or muddy.  Very few homeless people are able to hang their belongings out to dry after they've been rained or snowed on, let alone launder them.  Police sweeps lead to personal effects and all the clothing and blankets that individuals, churches or other nonprofits, and countless volunteers work so hard to give to people who need them being taken--stolen--and thrown away.  I help serve clients who will come and ask for clothing multiple times a week.  Forgive me, but it's exhausting to try to find something among the donations and knowing that I'll do it again and again.  And I can't imagine how exhausting it is to come and ask, not knowing if you'll get what you need while knowing you'll always need more (but in my better moments, I try to. For whatever that's worth).  

My daughter went on a retreat a few weekends ago, far away from these problems to the type of camp that's always "nestled in the Ozark mountains."  She packed for cold weather and made sure to bring a black slouchy beanie I made for her when she started her dark clothing phase a few months ago.  She wears it often and seems to enjoy it.  I told her not to lose it because I didn't want to make her another one.  Knitting with black yarn is just as boring as knitting with white yarn, and tougher to see what I'm doing on top of that.  

She came back pretty sure she'd lost the hat, but then it turned out she's just bad at unpacking.  I'm relieved that I won't be knitting a replacement (this time) but I know it's probably going to happen before she moves on to the next sartorial preference.  

Makers like to leave a mark, to create heirlooms, but every day has new reminders that none of this lasts forever.  Life happens. And once I send a hat on its way--wrapped up for Christmas, dropped onto a teen's messy bed, tucked into a bag of clean underwear and dry socks--it's gone and I've done what I can.  

There's no real point to this post.  I like to talk about using up scraps.  I'd like to be eloquent enough to talk about challenging the ways some crafters define who is 'knitworthy' and who they won't spend their time on if someone doesn't perform gratitude in the 'right' way in response to a knitted gift.  I'd like to talk about the unfairness of...the whole world?  And how people can't get enough of what they need if they can't store and clean what they need.  I'm new to this work of distributing donated goods and meeting people face to face enough times to get to know them a little bit.  I'm not new to knitting hats and dropping them off at churches and libraries.  I've been wanting to write more, but I don't always know what to say.  I do know how to knit, and I do know where to make my donations.  So maybe I'll just focus on that.